Updated: Apr 28
Who the Hell AM I?
8 Ways to Find your Authentic Self
One of the goals of life is to determine how to become the best version of ourselves, but what does that mean? Well, here are some ways that we can find our true selves.
Make a list of your Core Values and stand by them. Ex. Loyalty, honesty, trustworthy, diligence. Here is a list of suggestions https://corevalueslist.com/ Standing by these values, even when it is difficult is how we demonstrate to ourselves integrity. It also boosts our self-confidence when we look at the challenge and learn from it.
Recognize that if we are not living by our own core values, then we experience discomfort in the form of guilt, self-hate, shame or anger. We will find ourselves sitting in shame about not living up to our values. This fuels the negative voices we all have that produce self-doubt and insecurities.
Check to see where you are compromising yourself. When we find ourselves justifying our behaviors that are negative, we still end up feeling uncomfortable. Those compromises stay with us and it hinders us being our purest selves. Ex. Lying for someone else. Being in the company of negative people. Gossiping if you don’t like it when people gossip about you.
Ask yourself if you have Role Strain. This is when two core beliefs are at odds. Ex. Working overtime and missing dinner with your family. Core values are fighting each other, Work Ethic and Good Parent. Which wins and how do you feel about that decision? If it was uncomfortable, try a new tactic next time or apologize.
Your “Best” for today is good enough. Needing perfection tends to stall us in getting started or in presenting our work. Do your best and the work will improve as you practice and lend yourself to constructive criticism from people you respect.
Are you in crisis? When we are overwhelmed, over stressed or distracted by just staying stable, we are sitting in the Fight, Flight, Freeze response. There is no growth when we are in crisis. Find what is causing your crisis and find a way to get to the next level.
Self-assess for anxiety and depression. If you are anxious or depressed, check to see if you are living up to your expectations. Many of us are not comfortable in complacency. You may not realize it, but you may be ready for a new challenge.
Set Boundaries. Stay true to your core values by setting your own boundaries and boundaries with others. People don’t know what your boundaries are, unless you tell them.
The ultimate goal is to learn to trust yourself to be the person you want to be. Your conscience is your inner voice telling you where to set boundaries. If you can’t hear that voice, listen to your body. Think about where you feel stress, muscle tension, stomach problems, headaches. Notice when these ailments are showing them and determine if there is a pattern. This is often difficult to do without talking with a professional, but it is worth a try! #growwithclarity #youarenotbroken #clarityhealthfl #youvegotthis #therapyisaninvestment
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