Self-doubt…hey we have all experienced it. Sometimes I wonder if I am a good mother, wife, daughter, therapist, cook - oh the list can go on. On really bad days I doubt myself on all of these things. See what lack of sleep will do for you.
Yet what is self-doubt? According to an article by Berkeley Well-Being Institute, Self-doubt can be defined as a state of uncertainty about the truth of anything (Braslow, Guerrettaz, Arkin, & Oleson, 2012). It is where we doubt our own thoughts, beliefs, emotions, opinions and decisions. It is a lack of self-confidence in ourselves and our own abilities, a mindset that can hold us back and tell us that we are not good enough. We find ourselves asking for reassurance and having a difficult time when people tell us that we are doing a good job. Sound familiar?
Don’t forget though we all suffer from self-doubt at times. Remember going on that interview, accepting the job and then having self-doubts about whether you can do it. I tell people all the time companies have a 90-day probationary period for a reason. It’s called the learning curve. Hopefully, as you get into the job, and start to understand your role and the culture of the company you will slowly start to go from self-doubt to self-confidence.
So how do we know when we are having issues with self-doubt? I want you to ask yourself these questions. Do you often question your own attitudes and beliefs? Do you struggle to feel sure about yourself? Do you question whether you have made the right choices? Do you look to others for guidance before you make any decision? If you say yes to any of these, you could be struggling with self-doubt.
I’m sure you all want to know how to get from self-doubt to self-confidence, I mean is that not what we all want, to stop feeling unsure of ourselves? First of all, have some self-compassion for yourself. When we have self-doubt we worry about making a mistake, if we make a mistake then we really put ourselves down. This is where we need to have compassion, making a mistake helps us to grow and learn about ourselves, so go ahead - make mistakes.
Secondly please do not compare yourself to others. We are each our own little snowflake, similar but so very different in design. Learn to love your little quirks, or the things that you struggle with, and look back over your past achievements. I am sure there are so many wonderful things that you have done. Write them down.
Thirdly, spend time with positive people; people that are going to raise you up instead of bringing you down. Think about times you spent with negative people, how did you feel after? I’m sure, not great, so there is something wonderful for the soul about being around positive people.
So what is one thing that you can start with today to build self-confidence? Gratitude is a great first step. Whether you practice it in the morning or in the evening before going to bed, think of one to three things that you are grateful for. The trick is to really feel those feelings of gratitude, whether those emotions come up as pride, love, or gratitude, allowing the feelings to flow throughout your body. Positive feelings alone can increase your sense of confidence, so go ahead and give it a try. You don't have to go it alone though, because whether you are based in Palm Beach Gardens, the rest of Palm Beach County, or anywhere in Florida, you can call us at Clarity Health Solutions at 561-781-3333 to better the relationship with yourself.