We tend to think of procrastination as a time-management problem. We tell ourselves we need to be more disciplined, make a better schedule, stop getting distracted, or just force ourselves to get started.
But if procrastination were simply about time management, most of us would have solved it by now.
Often, procrastination has much more to do with how we feel about a task than the task itself. We aren't necessarily avoiding the work. We may be avoiding what we expect to feel when we do the work.
Think about something you've been putting off. Maybe it's making a phone call, starting a project, cleaning out a room, dealing with your finances, going back to the gym, or finally taking a step toward something you really want.
Now think about what happens when you imagine actually doing it.
Maybe you immediately feel overwhelmed. Maybe you're afraid you'll do it wrong. Maybe the task reminds you how far behind you are. Maybe succeeding would create new expectations or responsibilities. Or maybe you simply don't want to do it, and there's some resentment underneath the fact that you feel like you should.
Avoiding the task gives you temporary relief from those feelings. That's part of what makes procrastination so easy to repeat.
Perfectionism doesn't always look like someone working tirelessly to make everything flawless. Sometimes it looks like doing absolutely nothing.
If your brain believes something needs to be done exceptionally well, starting becomes much harder. Suddenly you're not just writing an email or beginning a project. You're facing the possibility of getting it wrong, being judged, disappointing yourself, or discovering that you're not as capable as you hoped.
Putting it off protects you from finding out.
Of course, that protection doesn't last very long. Eventually the unfinished task creates its own anxiety, and now you're dealing with the original discomfort plus guilt and frustration about procrastinating.
This is one of the most confusing parts of procrastination. You can genuinely want something and still avoid doing the things that would help you get it.
Someone can want a different career and never submit the application. They can want to grow a business and avoid the project that could actually grow it. They can want closer relationships but keep putting off difficult conversations. They can desperately want their life to change while repeatedly choosing what's familiar.
Wanting the outcome doesn't automatically mean we're comfortable with everything that comes with pursuing it.
Change brings uncertainty. Success can bring pressure. Trying creates the possibility of failing. And sometimes staying where we are feels safer simply because we already know what it feels like.
The frustrating thing about procrastination is that it works, at least for a little while.
You think about doing something uncomfortable. You feel anxious, overwhelmed, bored, uncertain, or inadequate. You avoid it. And almost immediately, you feel a little better.
Your brain notices that.
Over time, it learns a very simple pattern: When this feels uncomfortable, avoiding it makes the discomfort go away.
The problem is that the relief is temporary. The task is still there, often with a deadline getting closer. Then guilt, shame, and self-criticism get added to the original discomfort. The task feels even heavier, so you're even more tempted to avoid it.
And around you go.
Instead of asking, “Why can't I just make myself do this?” try asking:
“What am I afraid I'm going to feel if I do this?”
The answer might be anxiety. It might be boredom, embarrassment, uncertainty, disappointment, pressure, resentment, or fear of failure. Sometimes it's even fear of success and what might be expected of you afterward.
Once you know what you're actually avoiding, you can work with that instead of spending all your energy fighting yourself.
The goal isn't necessarily to feel motivated before you begin. Sometimes the goal is simply to become more willing to experience a little discomfort while you take the next step.
If you've been avoiding something for weeks, telling yourself you're going to spend four hours tackling it tomorrow probably isn't going to help.
Make the first step almost ridiculously small.
Open the document. Write one sentence. Find the phone number. Put on your shoes. Spend five minutes looking at the paperwork. Send one email.
You're not trying to finish the entire thing. You're teaching yourself that starting doesn't have to be overwhelming.
And once you begin, you may discover that the task itself wasn't the hardest part.
It was everything you imagined you were going to feel while doing it.
Choose one thing you've been procrastinating on and write down the first answer that comes to mind for these three questions:
What am I avoiding?
What feeling might I have to tolerate if I start?
What is the smallest possible action I could take today?
Then do only that smallest action.
Not because you're lazy and need to become more disciplined, but because understanding what is underneath procrastination is often much more useful than criticizing yourself for doing it.